Yesterday I had what is commonly known as an aha! Moment.
I had decided to make new covers for my arm chairs, not really a way to spend a Sunday but I had energy and couldn’t sit still and it has been something I had been wanting to do for a while but kept pushing it aside. I had the time and energy so I thought what the hell.
After spending a good few hours sorting through my fabrics and creating a pattern from scratch, I decided I was ready to go. I lay down the fabric and the pattern pieces only to discover I was just short of the amount of fabric I needed.
At first I stared down to see if there was anyway I could move the pattern around and then I did try to actually move the pattern around but nothing worked. I had to face the facts. I grabbed everything and put it away, feeling irritated.
Then I went off to bed to mope and feel sorry for myself. I fell asleep and woke up after about an hour, and I asked myself “why am I feeling like this?”
That’s when I realized why I had given up on my project, and as a result, the rest of my day was going to be spent sulking in bed.
I realized that not having enough fabric took my little project, out of my control.
There was nothing I could do about the situation, no way of me solving it until a later point (when I could make it to the fabric store). There was just simply nothing I could about it and I needed to accept that I shouldn’t have to kick myself over it but just to accept that I could not control the situation.
There are still things that are in my control!
I grabbed a pencil and a sheet of paper and decided to make a list of things that were still in my control. Little tasks that I could finish. I thought about how much better I would feel after completing the items on my list.
I didn’t make the list very long, I didn’t want it to seem daunting and I made sure it was a list of simple things.
The number one item on my list: get up and make my bed!
It may seem like a trivial task but it was the right task to begin with for the situation I was in. At the end of the list I added “Put on a masque and have a soak in the tub”. Treat myself a little!
As I worked away at my list (sweep the floors, sort through laundry, etc) I decided to add one thing to my list: make cushion covers for my arm chairs. Even though I couldn’t finish the whole project there was nothing wrong with me starting it by completing a small part of the project.
So where does the aha! Moment fit in?
While making my bed I realized that if this theory could work for me in the here and now then why can’t it work for me on a bigger scale?
I had been wondering lately about where my life is heading, where I want it to go and how I would get there. I’ve been thinking “but how do I do it.” I know taking small steps is the answer but what are these small steps supposed to be?
Perhaps I should be looking at it from the point of view that, yes, my dreams are out there. It may seem that the circumstances around me sometimes make me feel as if my life is out of control and that I would never be able to live my dream but what if I look at the things I can do, the tasks that I can complete and that are in my control.
For those out there who feel unhappy and as if their lives are out of control but you don’t know what you want to do with your life, here’s a bit of advice from me.
You know what you don’t want out of life. Take that as your starting point. What tasks can you complete that will make you feel as if you are taking back control of your life? Think about what you can do to move away from what you don’t want so that you can discover what it is that you do want.
For everyone, if you want to, why don’t you make up a list every day of five things you can do to feel in control of your life or a situation you might find yourself in? Don’t make the list seem daunting, pick tasks that you know you can do.
When I was making up the list of how to get my ass out of bed, one thing I told myself was that it was okay if I did not finish every item on the list. I don’t have to do it all and it is okay if I just finish the tasks I get around to doing.
Use this same mindset as you make up your daily list. A reason why a lot of people don’t complete a to-do list is because they are afraid of not completing it and as a result they don’t.
If you don’t get around to doing something on the list, don’t worry about it. This is one to-do list you should never stress about.
Don’t forget to throw in your “treat” at the end of this list. If you don’t complete the list, treat yourself anyway.
A lot of people put a “treat” on to-do lists and if the list remains incomplete the reward is held back. Don’t hold your rewards back. This is something you would be doing to punish yourself for not accomplishing something.
Believe that you deserve your reward regardless and remove the idea of punishing yourself out of your mind.
Mantra of the week:
I have control over my life
I deserve to have good things in my life