Is my heart safe in your playground?
The concept of love is no longer what it used to be, or so one would think. I cannot comment, as I am not consciously aware of the romance in ‘the olden days’. Hopefully movies lie. Today love is more science fiction that Star Wars. Yes we do have the lucky few that fall in love and keep their loves. We have the few that feel that blissful feeling. Then there are many more that stay in relationships and lie to themselves so that they will not live without a partner. Sounds like you?
What is love? Love to me is the mutual understanding, acceptance and undoubted being in union with another person. In love is the enshrouded state, which keeps you magnetized to that special human. Love is enough when we love the universe; love our parents; love our friends, but a relationship truly does require the in love status. Loving someone also means trust – trust to give over your heart to him or her, unconditionally and trust that they will safely keep your heart in the highest regard. Each and every person we love must be treated as an individual heart. Loving is no joke, it is not something to be taken lightly and today we do. The words ‘I love you’ are craved so badly yet once they are heard they sometimes feel like the empty echoes of a distant fantastical dream.
In this piece I want to outline a few of the things that I think we should consider when proceeding to undertake a relationship, also the things I think would make relationships better and perhaps heal a lot of broken heart. Now I am on no way an expert on these matters, but I do have first hand experience, and as with all my pieces I like to write from my own perception and then have feedback from my readers point of view. This is always important in finding a resolution to anything, even in a relationship.
Speculation is indeed the mother of all stuff ups in relationships. Women and men alike are guilty of speculation, and speculation stems from fear and insecurities. When entering a new relationship, I am not only talking about the romantic kind, but any relationship where your heart is called forth, we must enter it with an open mind, free of our old hurts and insecurities – the maiden aspect (explained in one of my previous pieces entitled “The process of the triple aspect: Research, Creation, Reflection|” Every relationship needs a clean slate. And in saying this, after ending any relationship a great deal of reflection and meditation and cleansing is to be done so that this is possible. We tend to go through life expecting people to behave in a certain manner that would either pleas or displease us… it is never so. Every person is unique, no matter how much one has in common with someone, they will always surpass or degrade your expectations… how do we do this? Well a theory of mine is let the world be. Just let people be, don’t let them enter into your world of speculations. After all speculation and desires are something needed and so we cannot just throw these things away, but don’t place your perceptions on others. Let every being you meet be themselves and be their world, yes, do go play there if that is a desire, or let them play in your world but don’t ever complain if their playground is not suitable to your needs, or if they come into your space and break the swing, and if they do, do not enter the next persons world and go and break their swing because yours was broken. Instead, sit in your world, mend the swing cut the grass, polish your shoes and bring out your favorite play things; and the cookies J No one wants to play in a rundown playground, besides its dangerous and one could get badly hurt.
Love is this – you are now in possession (not an owner) of a new heart, regardless of how many others you have or have owned; healed or destroyed or thrown away, dealing with everyone is an individually personal interaction and should always be seen in this way, and so this new heart must be kept safely in a shining box with not a spec of dust; not an ounce of doubt and should be looked after at all costs. Now this is risky is it not, because your heart is also being kept safe in someone else’s being. Will they look after it, will they break it, let it gather dust in the corner and rot away? Will they this and will they that? The fears and worries of the safety of your heart could be endless, but drop it. I believe that with everything in life, if your side of the bed is made, if your end of the bargain is kept, one of two things will happen 1: you will either set such a phenomenal example that the other person or persons in question will follow with a smile on their face or 2: the true nature of the other person/s will be clearly spelled out to being against your values and morals and you will then delete them from your existence.
Life is not easy when we look at it like this, is it… it can be. Laws are there to protect and the Law of Love is the greatest and most universally misunderstood law of all time. We have tarnished its beauty by overlapping its laws with ultimatums, with pain, with the past, with arrogant pursuits and have lost sight of the truth of Love and its real meaning within this entire mess. I have been so guilty of this I cannot begin to even attempt to find words to explain, it has taken me a long time to learn to love again, to learn to RECEIVE love. This is another point I thought was never important until it was clearly spelled out to me. After we are hurt and our playground is destroyed our hearts desire somewhere beautiful to go and be kept safe and so it is extremely easy to give your heart away to the best and most desirable playground, but there will be no fair give and take in this, because we do not want to keep the other persons heart in our playground, we know how dangerous it is, how they will be hurt, or we think we do. What this results in is the feeling of being unloved. When receiving the said persons heart into our space we are able to care for it and watch it glow with the maturity of the said relationship, without this all we have is a specific dream of what their heart looks like or should look like. Thus if the actions within the relationship do not meet the exact requirements of our speculated image of love – then we are not being loved and become unhappy, until the point where we withdraw our heart and move on to the next playground, always looking for that specific image we have in our minds of what love should be.
Yes, all this is very metaphorical love is too though… Understanding Love’s language is a delicate affair indeed. The most important point though before anything else is LOVING YOU, everything about you… immerse yourself in everything you are and love yourself, hell, I don’t care what you look like or wait… what you think you look like – LOVE YOURSELF! Forget these ‘beauty magazines’, and the norm ‘sexy look’ or how buff you have to be, we are all souls having a human experience, so as long as we look after our vessel, and it is as healthy as we can have it, then we are beautiful!! This is the first and foremost before anything… If you do not love yourself and do not have a beautiful playground… how can you expect anyone to love you? Remember something – You are precious, everything about you is absolutely phenomenal, interesting and worthy to be loved. Now go look in the mirror and go say “Hey, I love myself, I’m awesome!” and while you at it, do it every morning, or every time you look in the mirror! Once your playground is all neat and tidy and you are happy playing there… go and keep those hearts dear to you, safe… go show off your beauty!