CHTHONIC REALITY
TOO KIND
by
Terri Moore
PREVIOUS
A retraction of a previously held world-view
Issue
No. 38 August 2007
"We have been too kind to those who are killing the planet. We have been inexcusably, unforgivably, insanely kind." (Derrick Jensen)
Standing on the smokers' balcony at work I looked out on a low, grey, drizzly sky which had been African Azure the day before. "It's our own fault" I said, to one of my colleagues, meaning that we had only ourselves to blame for weird weather patterns. Climate change, global warming, holes in the ozone layer - I mean, I'm responsible for all that, am I not? I live as eco-friendly a life as I am able - I conserve ergs, use water sparingly and reuse it often. My family has only one small car between it and we don't jet-set around the globe; recycling of all our waste is a normal part of daily routine. I feel smugly like a good little green citizen and yet I continually blame myself for the fact that we may have only 5 years until something really gives way. It must be my fault - I must not have been trying hard enough, or else I must just be a rotten person who deserves to have this happen to her.
Anyone who has basic knowledge of the characteristics of abusers will instantly recognize what's going on here. The fact of the matter is that I am not now, nor have I ever been, in a position to seriously do violence unto our Mother. I am not a multinational logging corporation, clear-cutting my way to wealth. Nor am I the CEO of a major brand, pushing my wares on the entire human population as if there were going to be no tomorrow in which to turn a profit. Yet I'm gladly accepting the blame for what these people, in their quest for money and power, have managed to do.
I, and many people like me, am taking on the guilt for somebody else's sin - somebody who is much more powerful with infinitely more resources than I. The abuser always manages to get the victim to take the blame. This is just not on.
Take a walk down your home or place-of-employment suburb. See all the streetlights burning brightly in the day. Marvel at the cellular giant's massively floodlit, and deserted, Golf Park. Crane your neck at the huge illuminated billboards exhorting you to spend, spend, spend!
And then ask yourself if you come anywhere near this massive wastage of energy by keeping your geyser switched on. Yes indeed, every little bit counts. But all those little bits are being made as nothing by people who should know better-who do know better-and who are not in the least bit concerned about it. They rape and pillage the Earth, our Mother, with eyes only for their lifetimes' gains.
They are killing Her - and getting us to believe that we are doing it.
This is classic abusers' tactics, and I'm not going down for it any longer. Oh, I don't see myself rushing off to my local 4X4 dealer - my ego is not so fragile that it needs a huge metal chassis to protect it, but I'm going to be keeping a healthy skepticism at the top of my mind the next time SABC 3 pompously reminds me that "...energy usage has stabilized
but is still high. You may now turn on some lights..." while running the equivalent of my suburb's monthly power bill through its systems. It's a joke that we should feel to blame for the country's power failures.
But it's far more than a joke that we should feel responsible for the fact that our Mother is dying.
Yes, each one of us can do our part - drive a small car if you must drive, don't splurge on electricity usage, recycle your waste responsibly. And so on - I don't need to tell Pagans.
But this feeling that each one of us can be held directly accountable for the sickening Earth is perhaps something a little more sinister. I am not, and have never been, in a position to make those decisions which have stripped Her of Her mantle, drained Her marrow and poisoned Her blood. So why the Hell am I taking on this huge feeling of guilt?
If we all run around feeling that we're to blame for the shocking state of the Mama, well maybe we won't notice who it really is behind the carnage. If it would help a whit, I am perfectly willing to die for my Mother. But what I'm not willing to do is lay down my life for a Multinational Abuser with a severe case of womb envy who wants me to think that I'm the bad guy.
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